It's not a joke...you may laugh but it was very serious at the time and an influential part of my life.
She lived in Reading near the old football ground (Elm Park) and her name was Christine although I now wonder if she hadn’t been a Christopher at one time.
She was a physiotherapist at the Royal Berks. When I met her she was indeed sharing a house with a transsexual Polish born fireman who hadn't yet had the final op.....
I didn’t quite realise at the time which side of the love fence she was…..me being so naive and still in shiny boots and khaki, and ‘she’ being a trifle older than my tender years.
I thought it was a tad odd the first time we went out as we were walking through Reading town centre and both eyeing up the same girls…
She eventually lured me back home (a certain Kink’s song comes to mind here) and as things progressed she played a Madonna CD ‘Like a Virgin…..touched for the very first time.’
She said it was like ‘coming out again’ but only backwards, whatever that meant.
Still not totally sure of what she was on about she took me upstairs in the tiny terraced house to a lemon and lime green four-poster and revealed her extensive (and expensive) ‘toy’ collection. The previous mentioned, errant non-functioning ‘wobbly thing’ was a deep pinkish colour that she called Ruby and explained that it was her special one reserved for…yes you guessed, Tuesdays…. She had one for nearly everyday.
I asked what day was missing and metaphorically where I ‘fitted in’ to which she replied softly in one ear “Friday”….I could be her man…for something different and she also invited me to meet her lodger Stanislav soon to be Sandie which of course I declined with my back against the wall.
I at last realised I had met a real Lesbian (as boys you dream of these) and she was a nice pleasant woman actually.
We even planned a week in the Med. on Lesbos with another ‘couple’ but I bottled out at the last minute.
Unfortunately after the novelty wore off - I couldn’t stand the competition with other women so we parted company. Last I heard she was living with a female consultant gynaecologist.
Still after all that, underneath the latex I had a miniature motor (with eccentric gearing) and a speed controller.